It's something all women ask themselves on a regular basis. "What is he REALLY thinking?" Most of the time we feel as though we have no clue what is going on in the mind of the men in our lives. I know most of us have really tried to figure them out. Men and women were created differently. That's obvious. We communicate differently (or don't communicate at all). Sometimes it seems as if we speak a different language. These differences and also my desire to try to figure these men out, is what made me really enjoy Paula Rinehart's newest book "What's He REALLY Thinking? How to be a Relational Genius with the Man in Your Life". Paula has many years of counseling and has really been able to explain what these men are thinking.
I learned a lot by reading this book. There were several aspects that I learned the most about. One is that a man's upbringing, life experiences, and relationships create his "story". This story shapes who he is --the good and the not so good. This story is why he reacts certain ways to certain situations or stressors. This story explains why he has certain fears and insecurities. But as you look at the man's story you begin to realize that you also have a story that interacts with his story. Your story effects how you see him, think about him, talk to him, and what you expect of him. You have to understand your story, which includes your upbringing, fears, insecurities, and life experiences and understand how if effects you. Understanding your story helps you learn to deal with your expectations and fears. When you understand your story, you can better understand how it effects your relationship with the men in your life.
Another aspect I learned is that while it is really important to understand what he is thinking, the next most important part is what you do with this knowledge. What a woman does and says can either build up or tear down a man. This knowledge helps a woman to understand the importance of a man needing respect, the importance of you being his biggest cheerleader and that he knows you need him. And doing the opposite of respect, disrespect or contempt, can tear a man down really fast.
So, if you're trying to figure out what in the world the men in your life is thinking, consider reading this book. It will really help open your eyes and mind to what he is really thinking. But remember, that this book will also cause you to look inwardly at your life. It will make to consider your actions and your words and how they can be helpful or hurtful in your relationships with your man.
